Noah

NoahStarringRussell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony HopkinsEmma Watson

Directed byDarren Aronofsky

Written byDarren AronofskyAri Handel

Year: 2014

Plot: Ultra-vegan and pious to a fault, Noah builds a floating mega-box for everything that slithers, runs or flies. When he isn’t talking to God, he bullies his family in the Name of the Most High.

Pros: Witnessing a failure of biblical proportions.

Cons: Don’t even mention suspension of disbelief. The script is horrid, and the cast overacts so much that we wished someone gave Crowe a telephone to toss at the heathens.

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